Scared to death of dying

A real human skull. That's what one of my classmates brought to show and tell and school when I was about 9 years old. It was the most terrifying day of my life. We had to pass the skull around, so everyone could look at it. I sat there, pale, sweating, and just very very scared. That evening, my teacher called my mother to ask whether I'd had some kind of traumatic experience.

I haven't. For some reason, ever since I found out that humans are not immortal, I think about death and dying almost every day. As a little girl, it used to keep me up for many a night.

Now, I'm able to push the thought of not excisting anymore aside. But it still makes me sit up straight in bed in the middle of the night sometimes.

"Someday. There will be. No more me."

It's not something I discuss with others too often. Not because it's a taboo subject, but because I don't want to scare the rest of you.

Under pressure

There's truth in most clichés, so is the modern day motto that all the freedom we have in this day and age makes the pressure to make the 'right' choices rise and rise.

Most present grandmas never considered themselves university material, because from birth it was clear their purpose was to marry, have children and run a household. Just like grandpa knew that his role in life was to provide for his family.

A well defined, although limited existence.

In the year 2010, being almost thirty gives you plenty of reasons for a harty headache. If you wanted to, you now have a good education. That was your goal for the first 20-odd years of your life. Now that your carreer has more or less taken off, you discover that you're not done with planning your life just yet.

Single, living together or married? Kids or no kids? A carreer or something else as center point of your life? An truly enjoyable job or a crap job that pays more? What about your parents; how to take care of them when they're older?

If you have finally decided you want kids; who's going to work less hours? And who does what around the house? And can you expect parents to chip in when in comes to taking care of the children?

What if you don't want kids? Is a carreer all you need to have a fulfilling life? What about other passions? Are you being selfish?

And 25 to 35 year old from the western world can go on and on like this for hours in his or her head. It has driven many of us a little nutty from time to time.

My advice: pay grandma a visit, ask her if she would have liked to have all the choices we have. I'll bet you will feal a little silly about your worries after that conversation. I know I did.